Hiiii! Have you missed me? I’ve missed you and it’s not even Sunday this time (although it could be depending on when you read this.) I have an interesting topic for my latest list, one that may hit home for some… the big C is cheating and it affects everyone. Men and women, it doesn’t matter what race, religion, sexual orientation, social status, or tax bracket you are in. The big C can come at any time.
It has become a widespread epidemic among the stars too. Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston, Maria Shriver/The Terminator, Sandra Bullock/Jesse James (still don’t get that one). Cheating causes a range of emotions, we have our highs and lows and most times hurtful consequences. Despite all of that, cheating has been around since the beginning of time.
Infidelity is also a big movie genre. There are some great ones including 1987’s “Fatal Attraction,” Demi Moore’s “Indecent Proposal” from ‘93, Spike Lee’s controversial “Jungle Fever” in ‘91, and Diane Lane’s incredible performance in 2002’s “Unfaithful?” Let’s not forget the music industry with “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood, “Unfaithful” by Rihanna, “Jolene” by the amazing Dolly Parton, and one of my favorites, “Cry Me a River,” Justin Timberlake’s famous tribute to cheating Brittany Spears, just to name a few!
Cheating affects little houses and even great BIG white ones. Since it has been around for centuries and isn’t going away anytime soon, I have decided to compile a list. As a psychic advisor, I have noticed a great increase in infidelity calls, especially in the past five years due to the easy access through social media sites like Facebook, dating sites like the infamous Ashley Madison, and the overall unhappiness due to the everyday stresses of life.
Please note, that this list isn’t for everybody and it is impossible to cover everything. I will not be addressing soulmates who find each other while married to others since that is a topic all in itself. Infidelity can be painful for all parties involved and it is not my intention to hurt anyone. When it comes to cheating, this is what I have seen over the years and I hope it helps.
#1 – For the Cheated On… INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY!
If you suspect your partner is cheating, most times feel it in your gut or see changes in behaviors like more phone and computer activity, working later hours, changes in mood, and physical distance. Before you question your partner, find your proof. For starters, you don’t want to give your partner a heads up so they know to be more discreet. And second, you don’t want to put yourself in a situation where they deny it… without proof, everyone does. If this happens you start to feel like you are going crazy because you want to believe them even though deep down you know something is wrong. Try to keep your suspicions to yourself until you can confront him or her with facts.
#2 – THE 5 W’s including WTF?!
When we’re cheated on, we are in pain and feel we have lost all control. All we want (other than for it to all just be a bad dream) is to have answers. We feel so lost and need these answers desperately… that’s where the 5 W’s come in:
Who? WTF? Where? When? and Why?
Once you confront your cheater with proof, ask your questions but don’t expect the truth at first (and unfortunately depending on your partner, possibly not at all.) During readings, I explore both your partner’s thoughts and emotions to see whether they are telling you the truth or just giving you what you want to hear. I’ve found the Why part is always the hardest since it doesn’t always make sense and there isn’t always a reason. One can still love someone and hurt them; love doesn’t always guarantee fidelity. These readings can be difficult and painful but helpful and empowering during your decision-making process.
#3 – Mark Your Territory!
I’m currently trying to patent a branding tool to mark your partner’s forehead that says, “Property of ______.” Just kidding, but wouldn’t that be amazing?! I personally think it would be harder to cheat if my guy had my name branded on his forehead – ha!
On a serious note, I have found it helps to mark your territory and confront the 3rd party. Often, the cheater is lying to both of you. Calling the other person and talking about what is really happening helps. I can hear you saying “Sadia, I don’t want to talk to that @#$%*&!” It’s painful and definitely not for everyone but when you feel like you’ve lost your power this helps you regain control. Sometimes that @#$%*& is being told lies about you and thinks you are the @#$%*&. It does help if you both know the truth about each other. Plus, it’s harder to cheat if you can’t get away with it!
#4 – Should I Stay or Should I Go?
No, I’m not talking about the very catchy 80s hit by The Clash. You will ask yourself this question repeatedly, but the answer is different for everyone! Remember that there is no right or wrong answer, just what’s best for you. Unfortunately, we can’t prevent cheating from happening, and we can only deal with it after it happens, like an earthquake. Once one hits and we feel somewhat stable again, we need to look at the damage it has left and the aftershocks it may continue to produce.
Can we handle the clean-up alone? Should we call friends, family or psychic advisors for support? Should we stay and rebuild or walk away and start new elsewhere? Sometimes we realize it is time to go and sometimes the rebuilding is worth the time and effort. As you begin to heal and see the reality of your circumstances you will know what to do and as always, I am here for you!
#5 – For the “Other Woman/Man”
Let’s look past the original couple but now focus on “the other woman (or man).” Being in this position can be one of the most exciting feelings we have ever experienced, making us feel madly in love and on top of the world at first, but in some cases, it can quickly become one of the most painful experiences we will ever go through. It helps to know who you are falling for and their reality. So many questions!
• Is he telling you the truth?
• Is he really going to leave his current partner?
• Is there a plan?
• Is what you are getting from him/her enough for you?
• Are you in a relationship but still feeling alone and neglected?
• Will you end up together at some point or will you be stuck in an endless pattern of back and forth if you begin to ask for more than he is willing to give?
Thought readings can help here, too. It helps to know what you have gotten yourself into so you can make decisions for yourself. By the way, a thought reading is a type of reading I do where I look into my partner’s thoughts, and depending on the strength of my connection, I can often sound just like them by repeating things they’ve said; it’s pretty cool. Anyway, most times, “the earthquake” is so caught up in his feelings and only focused on one thing and one thing only… himself!
There can be love here, but as I’ve said earlier, love doesn’t mean you won’t get hurt. Sometimes, I look into a guy’s thoughts, and he is telling the truth; sometimes, he’s not. There are times when he’s sincere and will follow through, and sometimes he won’t. It helps to be prepared and to know if you can trust what he is saying. If you are calling for a thought reading, it is essential to note the date and time a statement is made that you need clarification on and have it handy when you call.
#6 – For the Earthquake (aka the Cheater)
In most cases, cheating takes time…. a look, a smile, a conversation, texting, phone calls, Facebook messages, you get the picture. Cheating can also be an emotional attachment without anything physical or there may be a touch, a kiss, a date, a bed, the backseat of a car, a motel that charges for rooms by the hour, or whatever floats your boat.
Maybe you are unhappy, lonely, and tired of responsibilities. Or maybe you feel alive again. Or perhaps you are in love or bored or having a midlife crisis. Or maybe you don’t care… Whatever the reason is, there is always a moment during that courting stage to stop for a second and think about all parties involved. If you take a moment to think about the consequences before you act sincerely… would you still do it?
If you made it down to the end of this article, thank you. I know I had a lot to say! But wait, before I go, I want to leave you with a final quote from Grammy Award-winning singer/songwriter Alicia Keys “Through the shake of an earthquake I will never fall. That’s how strong my love is.”
I hope during this painful time your love for yourself is always strong, you know that you are a survivor and will get through it, and for all of you affected by the earthquake, you know that I am here for you always.
Luv,
Sadia
XOXO
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